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Sunday, August 29, 2010

Letter to a Dog Lover

My neighbors keep their dog on a chain in the back yard. They hardly ever play with it, or walk with it. All they do is bring it food. The dog is crying of loneliness and in anquish, not understanding why it was ostracized from the group. Below is a letter that I wrote in the hope it might help the neighbors realize what they are doing...

Dear Neighbor,

I would like to provide some information that should help you enjoy your dog much more, and help your dog, too, to enjoy their life as member of your family.

Member of your family!?!? Well, a dog's societal norms - i.e. the norms which a dog follows and according to which a dog acts - are different from our - i.e. human - norms.

A dog follows instincts. It can not act against them, like we act against ours. It can not "think" like us, "ponder" like us. We can understand how their society works, if we take the time to study it for a long, long time. Or, if we read a book - like John Fisher's "Think Dog", which explains in a funny and easy to understand language how dogs work, with tons of examples and anecdotes from his life as "dog whisperer".

A dog, of course, can not read a book about how humans work.

Is it fair, and reasonable, to expect a dog to be able to understand our behaviors, interpret correctly what we mean, when we do certain things?

I think it would be up to the "smarter" ones to learn about and treat the other according to what they understand, how they are programmed through their instincts.

A dog is a pack animal. As such it is part of a group and it instinctively tries to do anything it can to get the approval of the group, to be accepted by the group. (In that we are actually not so different, are we? Many humans do really crazy things just to be accepted by their peers...) A pack animal can not survive for long outside of the group - so being accepted by the group is a matter of life and death to the dog!

One way - the most severe way available within a pack - to punish a member of the pack for wrong doing is to expel them from the group. (Again, very similar to our own behavior, isn't it? Think about school, prison, UN sanctions...) Such an outcast dog will do anything - ANYTHING - that they can think of that would allow them to get back into the pack.

A dog accepts and adopts the owner's family as its pack. Whether we like it or not, whether we understand it, know or are aware of it or not. It tries to get our acceptance and approval.

I know that dogs have been treated the way you are treating yours. However, just because somebody else made a mistake doesn't mean you can not do better. After all, we can choose to grow and go beyond our instincts. Please try to keep an open mind, and continue reading...

If we tie the dog up, away from the rest of the group, it thinks it has done something severely wrong - similar to how you would feel if you were tied up in the center of town with a sign around your neck telling how mean you are. Well, you can read the sign, and understand what the people are saying. The Dog can't read. It has no clue what it did wrong or why it is being punished.

It tries to be good. Display its best behavior. Show you its love, its subordination, its willingness to abide by the rules of the pack. Ever noticed how it behaves when you go and bring it its food? It wags not just its tail, but the whole backside. It puts its head down, it puts its tail between the hind legs. It whelps... All signs of submission. Of "I am sorry!" Of "Please allow me back into the group, I promise to do better!".

Think about what you would do, if your family ostracizes you. First, you'd try to get back into their favor. If it doesn't work, you would cry and continue to try. After a while, however, if nothing you do works, you would get more and more frustrated and angry. If no matter what you do, they don't allow you back in, you most likely would start hating them. After some more time, you might just give up to try. And you would finish your life being angry and mean to anybody and anything that comes close.

Ever heard of the expression: "A mean yard dog". Well, now you know why the dog is mean.



A dog is the man's best friend. That is another expression, I am sure, you heard before.

I believe you got the dog for that reason. For your kids to enjoy the unconditional love of another being in this world. Maybe to have a friend around to warn you of intruders and to defend you. And your dog has the potential to be and do all of that! Its highest priority in life is to be your friend.

I hope that being its friend is high enough a priority for you, too, to open your mind to the above information. To try to learn to understand how dogs work. And to try to treat your dog so it can understand your treatment.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. Best wishes and much joy with your four-legged friend for life!



Your neighbor

(who is crying, whenever your dog cries for your love...)

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Monday, August 2, 2010

Return Favor

Here's a thought: I looked around in my life and found that there are so many beautiful things happening with me and to me. I am allowed to meet great people (like yourself - even though this was only very briefly), I am allowed to see much of the world - all kinds of beautiful places; and I am allowed to experience love, happiness, beautiful music, inspiring movies and so much more... One day I realized: well, the Universe is doing sooooooo much for me. Maybe I could look a little bit at what I could do for the Universe?

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