It is not supposed to be like this!

 Last night, I woke up from a dream. I dreamed of a broken man in his mid 50s, talking:

It was not supposed to be like this!

One day they came to his school. And they talked about "Only the few". About "Honor".  And "Glory". About "Serving your country".  He came home, with a fire in his chest, and a light in his eyes. Was he one of the few?

How can you tell him not to listen to this? It's your country! How could you tell him not to answer the call? He would not have listened to you anyhow! His mind was full of "Honor and Glory". He knew what he wanted to do. But it wasn't supposed to be like this!

Only now you realize, you lost your son that very same day!

Then one day he left to join the cause. Full of life! Full of energy. Of hopes and dreams. And ideals. They brought him back in a bag. What was left of his body. They unfolded a flag over his empty coffin. And folded it again. And handed it to you. 

It was not supposed to be like this!

Then they left. And his friends left, too, and went to college. And you are left with a flag. Watching from the outside. They graduate. Have a career. They have Sunday BarBQs. Camping trips. Girldfriends. They marry, and have kids of their own. While your son just disappeared. Life goes on, you're told. But it was not supposed to be like this! 

"Only the few" they say. Only the gullible, you say. "Serve your country" they say. How can you serve your country when you die a senseless death, you say. You serve your country when you live! When you have a job. And contribute to the common good. When you travel the world, and make friends wherever you go. When you work to make the world a better place for the next generation. When you bring up a child, to be part of that next generation. When you pay your taxes, do your work, vote for good people. That's when you serve your country, you say!

It was not supposed to be like this!

You walk down memory lane. Back to your house, where you lived with your family. Happily. Joyfully. Until he left. You had dumped it way below its value. You couldn't stand to live there any longer. Every room you enter, every piece of furniture, every view out the window into the yard held a memory of him. You thought, getting rid of the house, would get rid of your pain. It didn't. It doesn't...

When they broke your child, they also broke you. It was not supposed to be like this!

There are people with their grandchildren in the park. You are at home, with a flag. It was not supposed to be like this!

And for what? The situation there is now worse than before! Our country is now in more danger than before! We are now more despised and hated than before! What a disservice to our country they made him do! 

It was not supposed to be like this!

When they talked to your son about "Honor and Glory", about "Serving your Country", they wasted his life. And they wasted yours that same day.

Then I woke up, all shaking and emotional!

Had to get up and write it down immediately, before the spirit of the dream left me. Before the message of that man in my dream was over-blasted by the little worries and oh so important tasks of my own life. Before I would go back to normal. The normal, where our kids are told stories about "Honor and Glory". The normal, where young impressionable almost adults are brainwashed into following the call of the piper. Where oh so many are sent into oh so terrible situations, from which oh so many return broken - dead or even worse living dead...

It is not supposed to be like this!

What do Vincent van Gogh, my friend Felix, Robin Williams, and so many more have in common?

 What do Vincent van Gogh, my friend Felix, Robin Williams, and so many more have in common?

They broke living in this world, and took their own lives.

How is that possible? What happened?

Of course, I don't know the exact details either. But, I can still remember when my friend Felix lived with me for a short while, and we had many long, deep, intensive talks around the topic of "what's living all about".

At that time, I was already happily toiling in the "corporate hamster wheel", and viewed that as best way to live my life. I heard, what Felix was trying to explain to me, but I didn't understand him. I thought I did, but really, honestly, I didn't get it...

Today I know that Felix was lightyears ahead of us all!

Already in high-school he understood and talked about how we people are taking ourselves and us too seriously. Then I didn't understand him. Today, however, I can recognize that back then he already gave me the first hints and pointers, which eventually lead me to the "Tool of the Universe" world-view.

The world wasn't built for us! We were built for the world!

It isn't my soul who has to develop and grow, while the world can be used up and destroyed in the process. It is this creation that is developing, and I am allowed to participate in the continuation of its development - and if I am getting used up and worn out in the process, well, that's not such a big disaster - as long as something of relevance "moved" a little!

Success is not money, power, fame, status, family, titles and degrees, travels, relationships, nor any of all the other things that are portrayed as worthy, ideal goals!

These "fake goals" are the ones that broke my friend Felix!

If I'm following the traditional world-view, in which I am the work-piece, then success is defined as what happens "to me" and what I am able to "make out of myself".

However, if I'm following this new world-view, in which I am the tool, the instrument, then what happens to me is rather unimportant. What matters is what happens "through" me!

Success is defined as: how often and how well am I able to make the contribution that is needed in this moment and which I could and should make.

A potato-peeler is being taken out of the drawer whenever something needs to be peeled: a potato, a papaya, a cucumber - no matter what it is: there's always some peel that needs to be separated from the fruit or vegetable.

I am convinced, that it's exactly the same with me! In whatever situation I find myself: I am where I am because I hold the biggest potential for the contribution to be made, that is needed in this exact moment and in this exact location. Through me it is possible, that something that is supposed to change, that is in need of improvement, is actually changing or at least more likely to be able to change.

Success is not what I am talking away from a situation, what I am learning from it, whether I am richer, smarter, more comfortable afterwards.

Success is, when I was able - by accident or intentionally, being aware of my role or not - to do exactly "what the universe had hoped I would do when it lead me into this situation".

Yes, I know, that all sounds rather strange and worthy of "yes, but". Hey, if you're happy and contented with your life, and everything is flowing the way you like, I guess, you won't understand any of what I'm trying to point out. Maybe later in your life you get to a point where it may start making sense...

But, if you're in a similar boat as Vincent, Felix, and Robin, when you're close to the end of your strength and wisdom, when nothing fits together anymore, when your life doesn't seem to make any sense anymore: then this 180 degrees opposite world-view might allow you to find answers to your questions, create clarity for your doubts, and provide the strength and energy to continue.

To "continue" - not in the sense of "go on as before"! But, in the sense of "not giving up the ghost", finding new goals, defining new, better priorities, and fulfilling a new, better purpose!

If you feel you're at the end, postpone ending it for a little and contact me. Tell me about your life. And maybe I can help you to see the miracle that you are.

I am convinced, once you understand your true mission in this world, you will start to see the magic that is happening through you on a daily basis. You'll start to recognize how through you this world is becoming a better place, one little step after another little step. You'll see how important you are. You'll find an infinite source of energy and happiness inside of you. And you'll also notice that everything that you need is being brought to you. It simply shows up in your life, often out of the blue, from left-field...

If by then you still feel ending your life is the best solution, you can still do it then. However, before that, give yourself a chance! Give this world a chance!

Was haben Vincent van Gogh, mein Freund Felix, Robin Williams, and so viele andere gemeinsam?

 

(English version to come soon...)

Was haben Vincent van Gogh, mein Freund Felix, Robin Williams, and so viele andere gemeinsam?

Sie sind an dieser Welt zerbrochen, und haben sich selbst das Leben genommen.

Wie ist das möglich?Was ist da abgelaufen?

Ich weiss es natürlich auch nicht genau. Aber, ich kann mich noch daran erinnern, als Felix kurze Zeit bei mir wohnte, und wir viele lange, tiefe, intensive Gespräche darüber hatten, was es ausmacht “zu leben”.

Ich war damals schon tief im “Corporate Hamster Wheel”, und sah das als besten Weg zu leben. Ich hörte was Felix mir erklärte, aber verstanden hatte ich es nicht. Ich glaubte zu verstehen, aber habe eigentlich nichts kapiert, damals.

Heute weiss ich, dass Felix uns allen Lichtjahre voraus war!

Schon im Gymnasium hat er immer davon gesprochen, dass “wir Menschen uns selbst viel zu wichtig nehmen”. Damals verstand ich ihn nicht. Heute sehe ich, dass er mir damals schon die ersten Hinweise und Wegweiser gegeben hat, die mich letztendlich Jahrzehnte später zur “Tool of the Universe” Weltanschauung geführt haben.

Die Welt wurde nicht für uns gemacht! Wir wurden für die Welt gemacht!

Es ist nicht meine Seele die sich entwickeln muss, und die Welt kann dabei aufgerieben und zerstört werden. Es ist diese Schöpfung die sich entwickelt, und ich kann dabei mitarbeiten, und wenn ich dabei aufgerieben werde ist das an sich nicht eine Tragödie - solange durch mich etwas wichtiges “bewegt” wurde!

Erfolg ist nicht Geld, Macht, Berühmtheit, Status, Familie, Titel, Reisen, Beziehungen, und all die anderen Dinge, die uns immer als erstrebenswerte, ideale Ziele vor Augen gesetzt werden!

Diese “fake goals” - falsche Ziele - sind es, die Felix am Leben zerbrechen liessen! 

Wenn man der traditionellen Weltanschauung folgt, dass ich das Werkstück bin, ja, dann ist Erfolg was ich “für mich” oder “aus mir” mache. 

Jedoch, wenn man dieser neuen Weltanschauung folgt, dass ich das Werkzeug bin, dann ist es ziemlich unwichtig was mit mir geschieht. Was zählt ist, was “durch” mich geschieht!

Erfolg ist definiert als: wie oft und wie stark bin ich in der Lage den Beitrag zu leisten, der in diesem Moment durch mich geleistet werden könnte und sollte.

Ein Erdäpfelschäler  wird immer dann aus der Schublade genommen, wenn es darum geht etwas zu schälen: einen Erdapfel, eine Papaya, eine Gurke - egal was, aber immer dann, wenn Schale von Frucht getrennt werden muss.

Wenn ich mich in einer Situation befinde, ist es genau so - davon bin ich überzeugt! Ich bin da, weil ich das größte Potenzial habe, den Beitrag einzubringen, der hier und jetzt gebraucht wird! Durch mich ist es möglich, dass etwas das sich verändern sollte, sich verändert oder zumindest jetzt ein wenig wahrscheinlicher wird sich verändern zu können.

Erfolg ist nicht was ich von einer Situation weg mitnehme, was ich lerne, ob ich danach reicher, schlauer, mehr komfortabel bin. 

Erfolg ist, wenn ich - zufällig oder bewusst, gewollt oder ungewollt - in der Situation das tun konnte, “dass sich das Universum erhofft hatte, dass ich tun würde”.

Ja, ich weiss, das klingt alles sehr fremdartig und “ja aber” würdig. Hey, wenn du glücklich bist mit deinem Leben, und zufrieden, und alles so läuft wie es dir gefällt, dann wirst du das vermutlich überhaupt nicht verstehen. Vielleicht kommt aber später einmal die Zeit wo es anfängt Sinn zu machen...

Wenn es dir aber so wie Felix, Vincent und Robin geht, wenn du dich dem Ende deiner Kraft näherst, wenn alles zusammen nicht mehr zusammenpasst, wenn dein Leben keinen Sinn mehr ergibt: Dann glaube ich könnte dir die 180 Grad umgedrehte Weltanschauung Antworten auf deine Fragen, Klarheit für deine Zweifel, und Stärke und Energie weiterzumachen liefern.

Weiterzumachen - nicht im Sinne des “so wie bisher”! Sondern, im Sinne von “nicht den Geist aufgeben”, und neue, bessere Ziele finden, neue, bessere Prioritäten setzen, und neuen, besseren Zweck erfüllen!

Wenn du dich am Ende siehst, verschiebe das Ende ein wenig und kontaktiere mich. Erzähle mir von deinem Leben, und vielleicht kann ich dir helfen das Wunder, das du bist, zu erkennen. 

Ich bin davon überzeugt, wenn du deine wahre Aufgabe auf dieser Welt verstehst, wirst du tag täglich sehen, wie durch dich kleine Wunder geschehen, die diese Welt langsam aber stetig verbessern! Du wirst sehen wie wichtig du bist. Du wirst eine unendliche Energie-Quelle in dir entdecken. Und du wirst auch immer wieder bemerken, dass alles das du brauchst an dich herangetragen wird!

Wenn du dann immer noch glaubst, dein Leben zu beenden ist die beste Lösung, dann kannst du es ja dann immer noch beenden. Aber, davor, gib dir eine Chance! Gib dieser Welt eine Chance!

Mission Accomplished!

This belief helps me tremendously dealing with the passing of loved ones. And it also makes me look forward to "signing off", rather than being afraid of it...

This world needs Jesus! Really?

This world already has a Jesus. And what did the people of this world do to him? Then - as now - too many are blinded by ignorance and religious fanatism into hateful self-righteousness against anybody that thinks, looks, acts, feels, loves, behaves differently. We people killed Jesus then. We people are continuing to kill today.

We don't need another Jesus to tell us how to fix things. The one 2000 years ago already told us. We don't need somebody or something else to fix things for us. We need to fix things ourselves, by fixing our own selves!

What we need is more willingness to:

• put aside traditions and customs and embrace new ideas and perspectives
• turn off our auto-pilot more often and try something new
• stop blindly repeating what others - especially religious people - are saying, and double-check if it is really making the world a better place
• allow others to make their own choices without having to fear to be ostracized
• try to find a "loving" way, rather than always simply following the instinctual animal response (which is usually "fighting", thus usually making things worse, rather than better)

Let me encourage you, to try to at least once a day think afresh about one "something" that you are used to do or believe.

Let me remind you to try to reserve half an hour a week for reflecting on the questions of:

• What did the Universe have in mind when it created you and shaped you?
• How is the Universe using you to create change and improvement in this world?

Let me invite you to try once a month to connect with a kind of person that you have never connected with before, and to try to learn as much as you can about how life is to and for that person, while also honestly sharing yourself with that person as well.

Magic is happening through you - whether you are aware of it or not; whether you want it or not; and whether you are actively trying to let it happen, or simply leaving it to chance.

My experience is, that when I make a contribution to the development of this creation, I receive happiness in return. A happiness that comes from deep within. A kind, that can not be bought or acquired in any other way.

I strongly believe, that if you follow the simple three requests above, you'll become less destructive (as we all are) to everybody and everything around you, and more capable as a tool for the Universe to cause improvement. You'll notice more opportunities to make a contribution, and are more able to do so. And with all of that, you'll become much happier and more fulfilled.

But, don't blindly believe what I say! Try it yourself, and observe.

Letter to my Turkish friend

Dear Friend,

 

The area you live in has been at the center of development of civilization for many, many centuries. Your people are capable of greatness!

Such development came in boosts. With times of stagnation in between those. However, during such rest-phases the seeds for the next boost germinated.

You may find yourself in such a phase of stagnation. If so, you may be the part of the seed-starter soil where the next boost is germinating.

 

There are those who blame outside forces for their situation. Such blaming is futile. You can not change outside forces. The best you can do is accept them and move to suit. There are those who stop their work when it is raining. And there are those who accept the situation (i.e. it rains), move to suit (for example put on a rain-coat) and do the work that is possible within the limitations and due to the special circumstances of the outside situation (for example plant seeds).

 

I find, there are many among your neighbors, among the people in your country, and the whole world, who are frozen in centuries old religions and traditions. Like a fish in a block of ice, they are incapable of moving, of growing, or changing.

Then there is another large group of folks, who are uneducated and misinformed. They don't understand what is going on in the world, how things are connected, what causes the effects they are experiencing negatively. Their ignorance causes them to fall victim to fear mongering demagogues. They are afraid of anything that looks, sounds, or acts differently then what they are used too. Sucked into their fear like into quicksand, they, too, are incapable of moving or changing.

But there are also a few like yourself. Your horizon is wide. Your experiences have opened your mind. Your ability to speak another language indicates you are a communicator. Your willingness to engage in conversations with people that are different than you indicates you are a bridge-builder.

 

I am reminding you of all of this, because I saw the sparkle of idealism and energy in your eyes. Even though it was wrapped in a vail of sadness and frustration, which itself you were trying hard to hide behind a mask of sarcasm and fatalism.

 

You are a descendent of great people. You are capable of greatness. Through you, the frozen have a chance for the ice to melt around them. Through you, the fearful have a chance to see the potential of the changes around them to cause improvement of the situation. You are the best chance the frozen and fearful who come into your life have.

 

I wish for you, that you'll find ways and the energy to do your work. Little by little. One situation at a time. One friend after another. My hope for you is, that you'll be able to help people understand. That you may provide the seeds for thought people need to ask the questions that allow them to make the next step.

 

Just remember, you are not responsible for the greater picture. Nor should you allow the appearance of the greater picture to get you despondent or lose hope. As long as you are doing your share - as little and insignificant as it may appear to you - this is all that is necessary; this is the only responsibility you have.

 

Here's another analogy: In the older days, during the winter months farmers in the Alps would not sit around lamenting that it is cold, that they can neither plant nor harvest anything. They would work on their tools, so when the spring comes they are ready to plant.

 

So, there's no sense in lamenting the situation. Brainstorm about what you can do, given the situation - and do it. Work "indoors". Educate. Inform. Connect with kindred spirits. Support each other.

 

And lastly: stay away from violence. Force destroys. Stick with love! Love conquers all. Love is the only path to real success. Love is the only warmth that thaws the ice of religious and traditionalist fanaticism. Love is the only lotion that soothes and heals fear!

 

In the end it will be all good. If it is not good yet, it just means it is not yet the end; and your contributions are still needed.

Dear Lord...

I know you must be cringing every time somebody refers to you as "Lord" or "King", since these where the aristocrats that waged war, ruled mostly cruel over their subjects, and got rich on their people's back. You, however, do not rule over us, but gave us free will to do whatever we feel like. You gave us the instinct of inquisitiveness that can help us search for what makes sense, and a brain that can help us in any situation identify many available options, and choose the one that makes the most sense.

 

I am sure, if you had a head, you would shake it in disbelief, every time people start talking about you performing supernatural miracles. You have sent and keep sending us instance over instance, opportunity over opportunity where we could realize that you are not using supernatural magic to improve situations; you are not sending lightning-bolts, not flicking your fingers even if you had fingers. You are working through us humans, you are using us as instruments, as tools to implement the divine intervention.

 

I am convinced, if you had arms, you would through them up every time people are misled and taught useless, illogical religious traditions. Some claim you sent your son to give us the message in clear language, yet, they focus on all kinds of other texts - some in total contradiction of Jesus' simple message: love your neighbor and love your god. Some focus on the question whether Jesus was a real person, and on examples for how his message was implemented 2000 years ago, instead of pondering questions that are relevant today - for example:

• What mode of transportation would Jesus use?
• Would he use styrofoam?
• Would he use his money to pay for cable, weaves, breast implants, or sports tickets?
• Would he glorify the military?
• Would he encourage youth to study science or football, language or soccer, math or basketball?
• To what temperature would he set his thermostat in the summer, and what temperature in the winter?
• Would he vote in the elections? And if so, for whom?
• Would he run, or send his kids to a Martial Arts studio?
• What kind of food would he buy, prepare, and eat?

 

So many questions that are highly relevant and important today! Yet so many focus on repeating over and over again, that Jesus died FOR us! Heck, he died THROUGH us! We killed him! And we would kill him all over again today, if he came back - we surely are making peoples' lives miserable if they don't believe, behave, look, act like us! I can not fathom how you have not yet given up on us!

 

I guess you must often wonder what might have gone wrong when you created us; why are we just not getting it? You provide for us situation over situation, where we could realize that when we are making a contribution to the development of this world, we are rewarded with happiness and fulfillment. Yet, we always look for "what is in it for me?" We try to achieve happiness through shopping, controlling other people, striving for personal comfort - and fail miserably. We seek fulfillment through money, power, status - and fail miserably. We choose to believe this world was created for us - and wonder why we destroy it!

 

Here I pray:

• May we start teaching our children to ask in any situation: "What contribution could I make now?", so that the next generation has a chance to fix the problems we're apparently so incapable of resolving.
• May we stop glorifying military and martial arts and guns and fighting, so that peace may come to our streets.
• May we stop trying the same old approaches and wonder why we get the same old outcomes. May we instead change our core world-view, as doing this will automatically change our values, our priorities, our approaches, and our actions.
• May we stop acting like animals, and instead learn to go beyond our animal instincts, so that we become the angels that we were meant to be when we came to this world.
• May we each accept our function as highly sophisticated and specialized tool to work on specific issues in our world in whatever little way we can, may we each search for our specific purpose, and may we each accept our mission to make this world a better place! And may we see in everybody else the potential for being an angel - no matter what color, race, sexual orientation, origin of birth, language, age, background, or whatever..., so we can attempt to help them with their mission, rather than hinder and harass them.

 

I hope this my prayer would put a smile on your face, if you had a face - it is the best I was able to do. Well I guess, you might be curious now to see, how many people who read this prayer will act like the pharisees in self-righteous upset, and how many will be good soil where these seeds of thought can germinate and grow.

 

Amen